Can you tell I’m excited for the season to start? Behold, dear reader! A guaranteed, 100% accurate* prediction of the entire 2025–26 Toronto Maple Leafs season. How will we do? Will we finally break the curse and hoist the Stanley Cup? Will we surpass the divisional title and go for the President’s Trophy? Read on and find out!
* The author reserves the right to disavow any and all of the predictions below upon the first instance of his being proved wrong.
Oct 8 vs Montreal Canadiens – L 4-3
In classic Leafs fashion, they open their season with a disappointing loss to a rebuilding Habs team. Patrik Laine scores in the dying seconds of the third to turn Scotiabank Arena into a cemetery. Twitter collectively loses its mind.
Oct 11 @ Detroit Red Wings – W 5-2
These are the Leafs we were expecting. We’ll give them the first game, call it a breakfast ball.
Oct 13 vs Detroit Red Wings – W 4-1
This is Our YearTM
Oct 14 vs Nashville Predators – L 4-2
Reality check. Roman Josi scores from another province, and the defence looks shaky.
Oct 16 vs New York Rangers – W 2-1
A hard-fought win against New York calms the fanbase down a bit as we get used to massive cortisol spikes again.
Oct 18 vs Seattle Kraken – W 3-0
What even are the Kraken? Are they good? Are they bad? They give big Minnesota Wild energy IMO. Either way, we get our first shutout of the season.
Oct 21 vs New Jersey Devils – L 5-2
Oct 24 @ Buffalo Sabres – L 1-0 (OT)
A loss in the first half of a back-to-back home and home sends results in a spike in arrivals to Toronto ERs complaining of chest pain. Doctors prescribe cheering for “literally any other team.”
Oct 25 vs Buffalo Sabres – W 1-0
We’re back, baby!
Oct 28 vs Calgary Flames – W 3-1
Nazem Kadri, we miss you, come back home!
Oct 29 @ Columbus Blue Jackets – L 4-3
Losing to the Blue Jackets this season still probably doesn’t feel as bad (cause you know), but it’s becoming much harder to avoid absolutely clowning on them.
Nov 1 @ Philadelphia Flyers – W 2-1
Travis Konecny scores one, we score two, Rick Tocchet scowls.
Nov 3 vs Pittsburgh Penguins – W 2-1
The Kyle Dubas Plan continues to do whatever it is Kyle Dubas thinks his plan is doing (we can’t figure it out either).
Nov 5 vs Utah Mammoth – L 3-2 (OT)
Utah gets its first-ever win at Scotiabank Arena, and its fans are adorable about it. We lose in overtime because we’re generous hosts. Clayton Keller probably scores and looks surprised.
Nov 8 vs Boston Bruins – W 2-1
Despite the Bruins having their worst season in decades, it’s still way too close a game for comfort.
Nov 9 vs Carolina Hurricanes – W 3-1
Now this is a real team, and that was a convincing win! Plan the parade?
Nov 11 @ Boston Bruins – W 4-3
Plan the parade!
Nov 13 vs Los Angeles Kings – W 1-0
Ok, do we want to finish the parade at Nathan Phillips or Yonge-Dundas?
Nov 15 @ Chicago Blackhawks – L 3-0
Trade AM34, fire everyone, sell the team.
Nov 18 vs St. Louis Blues – W 2-1
The Blues visit, and we grind out a win in the most boring game of the season so far. Both teams play like they’re afraid of losing, which makes for riveting television.
Nov 20 vs Columbus Blue Jackets – W 3-1
That’s more like it, but we still don’t gloat too hard.
Nov 22 @ Montreal Canadiens – L 6-2
Seriously boys? The Habs?? 6??
Nov 26 @ Columbus Blue Jackets – L 3-1
Ok, I take it back, how do you lose to Columbus twice in a month?? Columbus?? That’s an AHL team!
Nov 28 @ Washington Capitals – W 4-3
We steal a win in Washington despite Alex Ovechkin scoring his 901st career goal or something equally depressing for opposing fans. We get two points, and Ovi cements his immortality.
Nov 29 @ Pittsburgh Penguins – L 2-0
It’s usually at this point in the season, after a loss like this, that I begin to reevaluate my life choices.
Dec 2 @ Florida Panthers – W 1-0
We are forced to pierce our trauma shield and recall that Brad Marchand, Sam Bennett, and Matthew Tkachuk are all on the same team. Somehow, we manage a win but still come out of the game feeling worse.
Dec 4 @ Carolina Hurricanes – L 4-3
This doesn’t help.
Dec 6 vs Montreal Canadiens – W 4-3
This does slightly.
Dec 8 vs Tampa Bay Lightning – W 2-1
This does more.
Dec 11 vs San Jose Sharks – L 5-1
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re back at rock bottom.
Dec 13 vs Edmonton Oilers – W 2-1
He’s definitely coming home.
Dec 16 vs Chicago Blackhawks – L 2-1 (OT)
Chicago visits and beats us in overtime because they’ve decided to stop tanking for exactly one game. Connor Bedard scores in OT and looks like he can’t believe it either.
Dec 18 @ Washington Capitals – W 3-0
Somehow, Ovi doesn’t score.
Dec 20 @ Nashville Predators – W 5-2
We light up Nashville in their own building because the Predators are having an identity crisis. Roman Josi still scores because he’s legally required to against us.
Dec 21 @ Dallas Stars – W 4-2
Back-to-back wins on the road!
Dec 23 vs Pittsburgh Penguins – W 3-1
Christmas comes early as the Penguins look their age.
Dec 27 vs Ottawa Senators – L 4-3 (OT)
Except it’s coal in the stocking for Leafs fans, although we pretend to be magnanimous cause they have to live in Ottawa in the winter.
Dec 28 @ Detroit Red Wings – L 2-0
We get shut out, but for some reason, nobody cares as much. Todd McLellan looks confused that his team won.
Dec 30 vs New Jersey Devils – L 1-0
Jan 1 vs Winnipeg Jets – L 5-4
Unhappy New Year!
Jan 3 @ New York Islanders – W 7-3
He left you eight (8!) years ago! It’s time to move on, man.
Jan 6 vs Florida Panthers – L 5-1
The Panthers visit and remind us why they’re champions and we’re not. Sam Reinhart scores twice because he’s apparently our nemesis now. Matthew Tkachuk probably laughs at something, and we all die inside.
Jan 8 @ Philadelphia Flyers – W 3-2
It’s usually around here that I start to think nothing matters and wonder why I do this to myself multiple times a week.
Jan 10 vs Vancouver Canucks – W 4-0
I send my Vancouver friends a cheeky text, but not too mean, cause they suffer enough.
Jan 12 @ Colorado Avalanche – W 2-1
Goddamn Mackinnon is fast.
Jan 13 @ Utah Mammoth – L 3-2
I like the Utah jersey colour scheme; this is probably the only thing I pay attention to in this game.
Jan 15 @ Vegas Golden Knights – L 5-4
The Leafs lost a game in which Mitch Marner was playing? I can’t believe it.
Jan 17 @ Winnipeg Jets – W 2-1
Even after the long bus ride to Winnipeg, the Leafs manage to get a win.
Jan 19 vs Minnesota Wild – W 2-1
Big Seattle Kraken energy here.
Jan 21 vs Detroit Red Wings – W 4-3
I can almost guarantee you I will not remember a single thing about this game.
Jan 23 vs Vegas Golden Knights – W 3-1
Marner comes home, and the Leafs remember that he’s playing against us, so they’re actually allowed to win now.
Jan 25 vs Colorado Avalanche – L 1-0 (OT)
One of those losses that feels like a win, truly “playoff-style hockey.”
Jan 27 vs Buffalo Sabres – W 4-2
We beat Buffalo at home, and their drought against us continues. Tage Thompson scores twice in garbage time, and we all pretend it was competitive.
Jan 29 @ Seattle Kraken – L 5-3
When do the playoffs start again?
Jan 31 @ Vancouver Canucks – L 2-1
How many games are left?
Feb 2 @ Calgary Flames – W 3-1
Nazem, seriously, like what’s it gonna take?
Feb 3 @ Edmonton Oilers – L 3-2
In which we practice cheering for Connor McDavid.
Feb 25 @ Tampa Bay Lightning – L 4-1
Auston Matthews is still recovering from his heartbreaking finals loss to Team Canada.
Feb 26 @ Florida Panthers – L 2-1
Aaaaaaaand there goes the dopamine from winning the Olympics and back to being a Leafs fan.
Feb 28 vs Ottawa Senators – W 4-0
I feel better now.
Mar 2 vs Philadelphia Flyers – L 3-1
You know what? Sure.
Mar 4 @ New Jersey Devils – W 2-0
Mar 5 @ New York Rangers – L 4-1
We’re getting swept in round one.
Mar 7 vs Tampa Bay Lightning – W 2-1
We’re winning it all!
Mar 10 @ Montreal Canadiens – W 3-1
This is Our YearTM
Mar 12 vs Anaheim Ducks – W 4-2
Can the playoffs start tomorrow?
Mar 14 @ Buffalo Sabres – L 2-1 (OT)
It’s so over.
Mar 15 @ Minnesota Wild – W 3-2
We’re so back!
Mar 17 vs New York Islanders – L 1-0
It’s so over.
Mar 20 vs Carolina Hurricanes – W 5-4
We’re so back!
Mar 21 @ Ottawa Senators – W 2-1
Leafs in 4!
Mar 24 @ Boston Bruins – L 3-2
We give them this one cause they’re missing the playoffs.
Mar 25 vs New York Rangers – L 4-3
Every single game now becomes a referendum on how the postseason will go. LCBO stores across Ontario report record revenues.
Mar 28 @ St. Louis Blues – W 5-3
We can score, we can defend, would’ve like a couple more saves though.
Mar 30 @ Anaheim Ducks – W 6-2
We can score, we can defend, and the tendies look good!
Apr 2 @ San Jose Sharks – L 4-3 (OT)
It’s so over.
Apr 4 @ Los Angeles Kings – W 2-0
We’re so back!
Apr 8 vs Washington Capitals – L 4-2
Ovechkin scores goal number 930 because of course he does.
Apr 9 @ New York Islanders – W 3-1
We have the worst schedule luck every single year; it’s definitely a conspiracy.
Apr 11 vs Florida Panthers – W 1-0
This is the game that gives Leafs fans Hope.
Apr 13 vs Dallas Stars – L 4-1
This is the game that gives Leafs fans heart palpitations.
Apr 15 @ Ottawa Senators – W 3-2
In which I win the season bet against my Senators fan friend.
And there you have it! Every single game of the Leafs’ 2025-26 season was predicted with perfect accuracy. They will go 47–28–7 for 101 points and make the playoffs.
No, I will not be reviewing my work.
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